Horrific condition filled me with rage…I was worried Phil was going to leave – now I have 4-hour op, says Tanya Bardsley
THEIR high-profile marriage may have got them a hit fly-on-the-wall series, but Tanya Bardsley admits there are some days when she “can’t bear” her husband Phil.
The Real Housewives Of Cheshire star is suffering from a condition that has left her in crippling agony and plunged her into such a hormonal “nightmare” that it is putting pressure on her 11-year marriage to the former Sunderland footballer.
Tanya says: “There are times when I feel like I can’t bear him — if he breathes too loud, for example — and poor Phil, he’s probably not even done anything, he’s just been himself.
“He deserves a medal — but he hasn’t left me, that’s the main thing.
“That shows what kind of man he is because some days I just don’t even want to hang around with myself.
“It’s like something has taken over your body and you can’t control it. I am like an ogre stomping around.
“The rage just comes up inside of me and takes over. I’m horrible to be around, but obviously my oestrogen is low and the ogre is out.
“You go from fear of losing your partner and your family to this rage where you just don’t give a s**t about anything or anyone. It’s horrible.”
Tanya is the longest-serving cast member of the Housewives and now appears in reality show The Bardsley Bunch on ITVBe and ITVX with Phil and their four kids.
But for years she has also been suffering from a crippling condition called adenomyosis, where tissue grows into the muscular wall of the uterus leading to pain and heavy bleeding that can significantly affect daily life.
‘I’ve been doubled up on all fours on the floor’
It is often linked to hormonal imbalances, and in particular, elevated levels of oestrogen.
Today 44-year-old Tanya reveals that she is about to have a hysterectomy, and is terrified.
She says: “I have fibroids in my womb too. They are benign growths but can reach the size of a melon.
“I am often in so much pain that I feel like I’m giving birth. It is excruciating — it’s been horrific recently.”
Tanya has been suffering for years because experts failed to correctly diagnose her.
She says: “I started getting really bad pain but my previous gynae- cologist didn’t know what was wrong with me. I eventually booked in to see a specialist who diagnosed adenomyosis and fibroids.
“Getting that diagnosis was such a relief because it made me realise I wasn’t going mad, that something was really wrong.
“The pain is unbearable at times. It’s like childbirth but it doesn’t come in waves like contractions — it is constant.
“I’ve been doubled over on all fours on the floor having to pant through it, just crying my eyes out and sometimes telling Phil that I think he’s going to have to take me to A&E.
“It’s so intense and then eases off a bit but then comes back. It’s really traumatic for Phil to see me in so much pain.
“It affects everything in your life — your social life, your work life. Some days I literally cannot get out of bed.”
The hysterectomy will take four hours followed by weeks of recovery.
Tanya says: “Losing my womb is just an awful thought. That’s where my babies were — it’s what womanhood is about.
I think because I’ve been through so many dark times and I have tried to take my own life in the past, I know that whatever pain I’m going through, it’s not the end Tanya Bardsley
“I’m really scared I’ll feel less of a woman without it, but I know this is my only option.
“The recovery time is about six weeks, so I am getting it done in the summer after Phil’s 40th birthday celebrations.” Tanya first found fame as a model. She was one of FHM’s High Street Honeys in 2002 and was included in the lads’ mag’s 100 Sexiest Women.
In 2014 she married Phil and they went on to have children Gabriella, 23, Rocco, 16, Renz, 12, and eight-year-old Ralphi.
She joined up for the first series of The Real Housewives Of Cheshire in 2015 with Ampika Pickston, Dawn Ward, Lauren Simon, Leanne Brown and Magali Gorre.
Now Tanya and Phil, who is assistant manager of Macclesfield, live in luxury in a £2million Cheshire home.
But just a few days ago masked intruders tried to break in while the family slept before they were scared off by the property’s security system.
It is the latest harrowing ordeal for Tanya, who entered perimenopause when she was just 38 and has been suffering ever since. At 39 she was diagnosed with ADHD after years of struggling with anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
She tells The Sun on Sunday: “Because of the pain and hormones, my mental health is awful right now.
“You just feel like you’ve got a big black cloud in your head.
“But I think because I’ve been through so many dark times and I have tried to take my own life in the past, I know that whatever pain I’m going through, it’s not the end.
‘Imagine guys going through perimenopause’
“I think that’s why I don’t worry about myself going into a dark place any more. I can just wait it out.” Following her diagnosis, Tanya — supported by Phil — had some agonising discussions with experts before finally deciding that she should have a hysterectomy.
She explained: “My doctor says the cure for me to get rid of the pain is a hysterectomy.
“My mum actually had one when she was 37. She told me her womb was riddled with fibroids, but she probably had adenomyosis as well but it just wasn’t diagnosed.
“She was in the same kind of pain I am.
“Phil and I have completed our family — he has had the snip. So we decided together this is the next step for me. But I’m really scared about it.
“There’s no option that doesn’t bring its own risks.
“Sometimes I’m thinking, ‘Well, this is just pain. What if I end up with blood clots or an infection or something else if I get an operation?’
“I’ve had so many things wrong with me over the years that now I’m scared of creating something else.”
Tanya openly admits she is no stranger to going under the knife. She has had several cosmetic surgeries ranging from a face lift, two boob jobs, liposuction and a brow lift. But it has not always been straightforward.
What is a hysterectomy?
A hysterectomy is an operation to remove the womb, which marks the end of a woman’s reproductive period.
After having the surgery, you will no longer be able to get pregnant – and your periods will stop.
There were around 30,500 hysterectomies carried out in England in 2012 and 2013, mostly for women in their 40s.
Hysterectomies are carried out to treat conditions that affect the female reproductive system.
These include heavy periods, long-term pelvic pain or non-cancerous tumours.
In some cases, women have hysterectomies to treat ovarian, uterine, fallopian tube or cervical cancer.
There are different types of operations – depending on whether the woman has her whole womb, cervix, ovaries, fallopian tube and/or cervix removed.
In a radical hysterectomy – the lymph glands, fatty tissue and part of the vagina are also removed.
She ended up with a blood clot in her breast due to her second boob job after Ralph was born.
Tanya said: “I’ve learned that with cosmetic surgery you can fix one problem and cause another, so knowing you’re about to have more surgery is a scary place to be.”
To help other women, she is going to document the operation and her recovery for The Bardlsey Bunch, which gives viewers a warts-and-all look at her home life with Phil.
She says: “I have had so many messages from women over the years who have taken comfort in me speaking out about perimenopause, so I think it’s important to show this side of what’s going on with me.
“It might help other women to not feel so alone.
“With perimenopause I thought I was going crazy.
“I just wasn’t being listened to. I was even given antidepressants. I felt like no one was taking me seriously and then you’re just left feeling like everyone hates you.
“So many women said they experienced the same thing.
“I swear if a man had to go through what we did, there would be serious changes that happen quickly.
“Imagine these guys going through perimenopause.
“Every top scientist, every doctor around the world, all the government’s money would be on it.
“I once called an ambulance for Phil because we thought something was seriously wrong with him — it turned out to be bad trapped wind.
“I will never let him forget that, ever!”
